tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10297303045703582202024-03-13T02:12:40.626+01:00A place to scream.This about enjoying life to the full with my lovely partner- I scream my head off here so I can pretend to be coping when I have to. MS has robbed my darling of the use of much of her body but has increased our determination to share our love to the full and get as much fun out this world as we can glean. Sometimes it all gets to much so I need to scream about it.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.comBlogger182125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-73854571894946258722012-04-19T16:58:00.001+02:002012-04-19T17:00:38.500+02:00bloody blogger!this is the first time I have been able to get into blogger since my last post- I did try to blog more frequently but this damn site has made it impossible so I give up- no moreRichiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-85307056497577154262012-03-29T13:20:00.005+02:002012-03-29T13:30:59.910+02:00Herrad is hurting very bad.We had a talk last night. Herrad could not hold back. All the fear frustration and pain flooding out. This is just so bad. We just wanted to get old together and she knows she will not be there with me, all we want is each other- we are a boring couple.<br />This is just so cruel and so hard to live through. She is in so much pain and nothing I can do makes it any better. I feel like a jailer working for MS not a care giver. She is not going to be with me and then what do I do?<br />Oh this hurts so much..so much and I can't do anything to make it better. I love her so much and I can do nothing to help her. MS is so nasty.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-32941354314070522582012-03-10T21:30:00.003+01:002012-03-10T21:39:58.678+01:00It works!Putting up a post did it's job. I did find sharing the guilt I feel about Herrad's condition helped me contextualise it. I feel a lot better today. I took it easy and watched rugby all day. I love the six nations championship. I feel very relaxed.<br />I will try to post a little more often. It is so nice to get supportive comments but the big thing is just expressing things that I can say to know one.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-24883764889806768662012-03-09T23:36:00.005+01:002012-03-09T23:53:17.888+01:00Back to moan.I got a comment months after my last post- thanks Olivia. Ok am I going to do a second post soon? I don't really know. Right now I want to write something again. Last time I got so sad I could not write so I stopped trying- I found myself crying over the keyboard and unable to find words.<br />When things go wrong I take it to heart. I want to make things good so much that when things go bad I feel the lowest form of life on Earth. <br />Yes you guessed it- things are crap at the moment and I feel like it is all my fault. Herrad's decubitus wound has opened up again. A pressure sore- it was a monster; if you have never experienced a pressure sore do what ever you can to avoid the experience- my experience of Herrad's is in previous posts but understand that people die from pressure sores- gangrenous holes bone deep. I washed dead flesh out of it everyday for months. It was terrible. <br />Right now it is just a layer of skin scraped from the scar but it is enough to put Herrad flat on her back till it heals. Somehow it got open again. What did I do?<br />I think we have stopped it getting infected and it is starting the slow process of recovering. We do not know how long it will take and the spring weather is just starting so frustration levels are going off the register. <br />By the way I like to put rubbish in my tags just to drag poor idiots to this blog.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-28768247478561813242011-06-10T11:39:00.005+02:002011-06-10T23:39:39.170+02:00oh shitI am very down today. Yesterday I nearly killed Herrad. Screwed up good and proper. I took a road crossing too quick and pitched her out the chair... we got away with only minor damage to the chair and a small bruise on Herrad's head. I am gutted.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-16969583241079565942011-05-20T15:28:00.004+02:002011-05-20T15:41:29.862+02:00Agis screw up again.When some one puts up a real fight to make something good out of a bad situation I would have thought the organisations that are there to support them would be able to do their part. <br />Herrad has been let down again. <br />Her muscles do not support her torso so she can not sit up- she slowly moves to one side or the other and has to be sat up to stop unbearable strain being placed on her neck- she has a neck injury which is easy to aggravate and causes great pain. I prop her up best I can with cushions and on a good day this enough- on a bad day I have to correct her position every few minutes.<br />Her medical team advised a special cushion be made to give her the support that will make her able to sit comfortably. The insurance company (Agis) agreed and she was measured up. The cushion was to be delivered this week but Agis is now in dispute with the supplier so they have stopped the whole deal. <br />We find out on the day the cushion should arrive.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-24031221769667121212011-05-04T18:37:00.003+02:002011-05-04T19:57:40.667+02:00Waiting bloody waiting!Herrad is getting worse at a pace. She is loosing the use of her arms and is less able to support her self- nothing we can do to stop it but there are things that can help. We have got an agreement with the health insurance that support cushions are needed to hold her up in bed- we have had the agreement- the order has been placed and we are waiting waiting waiting- this has gone on since February. The only change is Herrad needs them more and at last we have been told we shall get them this month- it takes a few hours work to make a cushion- half a day, my Aunty Peggy could cover a three piece suite in an afternoon, shame she is to old to work now or I would have sent her the contract!<br />Herrad has agreement to get the joystick on he chair changed to one that requires less effort to control. We have been waiting since March for them to make an appointment to do the job. I fear she will not be able use the new control by the time it arrives. Herrad has no time to waist waiting. We are supposed to get air-co but it seems that the decision can not be made for two months- then another wait whilst it is implemented (if it is agreed) so we should be getting air-co for the start of next winter. I am so frustrated!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-59865347211235075932011-05-03T12:11:00.003+02:002011-05-03T12:25:59.368+02:00Grim reality comes knocking.We are entering a new phase of Herrad's illness. Her arms are stopping working thus making her even more dependant on me. She is frustrated and scared by the developments even though we have discussed this happening it is still a shock when the real implications become obvious. She has woken crying in pain and unable to move her arms at all. I Massage them and get her some thc that gives some relieve but it is only a partial help. Last night she was working on her computer but could not cope with the complicated operations she needed to perform. I was just settling down to take things easy but had to assist. She was very frustrated and was rather unpleasant in her manner. I did my best to assist and remain relaxed and we managed to get the work done between us. I managed not to be too overtly effected but when I took the dogs out for the last walk I started to cry in the street. Herrad will not be with me much longer. She is aware of this and last night it hit me what that means for me. I can not face the future with out her. I have no life with out her. She is my reason for living. I can only look forward with despair.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-49275318104609535762011-05-02T11:42:00.006+02:002011-05-02T12:08:51.719+02:00Foot rot gone crazy!I have had a bad time: athletes foot! I know it sounds trivial but it has been horrible. I got a very nasty infection three weeks ago. I bought a well known cream for the condition and it started to clear up. Then it changed it's mind and went crazy. It spread all over my feet up my legs and all over my hands. It then triggered an eczema attack. The doctor gave me pills to knock out the infection but the damage has been done and my skin is peeling off me. The cracks on the soles of my feet and around my toes make walking torture. I have to crawl out my bed on my hands and knees in the morning fill a tub with warm water and soak my feet before I can walk My hands are raw. But it is getting better and a little less painful every day. By next week I may even be able to play the banjo again. I have just done four days worth of dish-washing and will get cleaning the floors. All symbolic of my recovery- happily I have not got too depressed over this bad luck. Unusually I seem to have managed to maintain an fairly relaxed mental state. The only thing that got to me was the lack of banjo- I am on the point of being able to play a tune and want to press on!<br />http://www.deeringbanjos.com/sierra.htmlRichiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-51998508253791221152011-04-17T11:36:00.002+02:002011-04-17T11:56:31.596+02:00I have got to be more positive because my current state is getting Herrad down. I can not make her MS better but I can make her feel worse. Yesterday I decided to put all the effort I can into being brighter. Even if I do not feel happy I will act happy and hopeful. It is not easy, I am sure I am clinically depressed- that is I do not have the right brain chemistry to feel happy so I need to take action to stimulate my brain into producing the right chemicals to make me feel happy. Fatigue is one of the symptoms of depression so I have to up my exercise whilst feeling wiped out. It can be done and will be done. Blogging again has helped already. I am going to make my self a coffee and get the house clean and shining and try to get the dogs out for a long walk. I will stop watching television- always a sign of depression for me. Usually TV just makes me angry and frustrated, movies the same, I can not believe how much effort goes in to making trivial meaningless rubbish and how much importance it is given by society. I know not all TV and all films are rubbish but most (99%) are. Watching them makes me feel I have given up. OK I may be an undereducated manual labourer but I still have something of a brain and will try to feed it.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-48186041389116615612011-04-15T14:05:00.002+02:002011-04-15T14:25:49.320+02:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyR0v5vNOQz2RodzTnG04wK2xtO2QtOx99-uX9GzCyrUI_RACjmwrNuFkPVrLC8xrNVWpYr8VRNzPC8e4nbUiJJwNgFDf1mZ0BLZOKUgDKTqD0xkccEYp4U1Kn-e2YH6115ytA-z1wyDeq/s1600/DSC_0003.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyR0v5vNOQz2RodzTnG04wK2xtO2QtOx99-uX9GzCyrUI_RACjmwrNuFkPVrLC8xrNVWpYr8VRNzPC8e4nbUiJJwNgFDf1mZ0BLZOKUgDKTqD0xkccEYp4U1Kn-e2YH6115ytA-z1wyDeq/s400/DSC_0003.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595785453309737586" /></a><br />I got through the dreaded birthday yesterday. It always gets me down and I had been low for the last month any way. I have done a big lot of shopping- fruit and veg mostly so I have not so much to do over the weekend.<br />I am trying to find the positive. It is not easy. <br />My new dog Cyril is getting very sweet. He is beginning to believe I am not going to beat him. I do not know what went down in his previous home but something scared the wee lad. He both wants my affection and is very scared. He cuddles up to me growling and showing his rather impressive teeth. As he has been here longer the growling is less and the cuddles are more. I will never beat him so I hope he can learn to trust me. It is strange after my Spike was so completely trusting. I do not see the point in having a dog (or any other animal) without making it happy. I see so many dogs walking along looking so sad- usually horribly over weight. A woman told me her Jack Russell did not want to play like my dog cause she was 7 years old- I did not tell her my Marlene is 10!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-52744135651150707312011-04-13T15:04:00.002+02:002011-04-13T17:19:25.521+02:00It has been a long time since I last posted- the blog is a space for internal dialogues and I have not been talking to myself. <br />Anyway I have got a right good depression going now so I am writing again. Spring is a reminder of me getting older as the year renews itself. "Spring is in the green leaf but winter is in the wood."<br />I find my self looking back at the last spring I felt optimistic about- 1974! when my parents moved us to a place I hated. Lost all my friends and have struggled to make new ones since.<br />Since then spring has got sadder connotations for me. <br />I have been looking at the history website for my "home town". I have not visited for years and have lost all contact with the place but some how I feel so nostalgic for the Island. It is a notoriously ugly little town with famously unfriendly inhabitants. <br />Somehow I want nothing more than a walk by the old oil refinery and down to the old gun site (I think the old turrets and lookout tower have been demolished now). A pint of keg bitter in an inhospitable boozer and a pukka pie.<br />I guess it would make me no happier if I did visit but the very fact I can not makes it a desire.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-61279215097084532202010-07-06T20:10:00.000+02:002010-07-06T20:11:53.833+02:00CommentsI can't publish comments on my last post.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-41544780282880783662010-07-06T13:51:00.004+02:002010-07-06T15:06:07.363+02:00Huppa Holland!!!!!!!It is getting exciting today. Everyone dressed in orange and making preparations for the big game tonight. I only hope Uruguay don't spoil the party. If Holland win the world cup I am going to ask my bank for a big loan on the day after- I reckon the manager will be good for a million! Seriously though it would be great if Holland win. Amsterdam will go crazy- starting with my neighbours!<br /> It is strange to be in the middle of the excitement. Orange and red white and blue are not my favourite colours for a party- especially in July- I even found myself humming 'The Sash My Father Wore' on the tram- it would be just my luck if I had been sat next to a Glasgow Celtic fan but I don't think any one was more annoyed than would be natural when some idiot starts whistling on a crowded sweaty tram. <br />Herrad has been up and down with the weather: heat and MS do not mix. When the clouds come over she can use her hands and when the sun comes out she feels dreadful. It is a big change for her from how she was. She loved sunny days and I loved to watch her enjoying them. She was super relaxed and looked great in her summer clothes (she has the best legs since Betty Grable <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj7ptNYO_Eo&feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj7ptNYO_Eo&feature=related</a>) <br />I am so glad she has started to show them off again. They may not obey orders any more but they are still a lovely pair of legs and do not deserve to be hidden away on a hot day. The two of us are very much in love and the MS has intensified my feelings for her. She is the most loveable of people. I am feeling stronger and calmer than I have in a long while. I have cut my food and marijuana intake to the benefit of my body and mind- this was a barely concious procedure. I just felt less desire for both. Marijuana helps me to an extent but it is a double edged sword and can leave me confused and worried if I use too much or at inappropriate times. I now have a little in the evening and it knocks my socks off. Which is handy 'cos it is my preparation for going to bed. I really enjoy the hit and relax into music and then sleep. It is twenty years since I used alcohol. Drink is what I still crave when stressed. I know that drinking would be a disaster for me in any situation but as Herrad's caregiver it would be a disaster for her too. I am glad I do not have an addictive relationship to weed but I do know that my compulsive nature does make me want to use too much. Food, booze, caffeine and speed (in that order) are the killers for me. Only food remains a problem 'cos I can't stop taking it. Weed helps me a lot more than it hurts so I will stick with it for the moment, but in a controlled manner. I hope tonight will be blighted by alcohol abuse: but not my own! Huppa Holland!!!!!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-43957154595175094302010-07-04T19:56:00.004+02:002010-07-05T00:01:40.925+02:00It has been a while since I posted. I hit a block in what I felt I could write. Much of what I want to scream about is deeply personal to Herrad. She is a strong dignified woman but MS leaves her hurt and vulnerable. It has taken her away ability to control her body and it can be humiliating for her. I make it as matter of fact and straight forward as I can when it happens but I know she feels it deeply so I have not found it easy to write 'Herrad crapped her knickers in bed this morning' and put it on the net. I know she shares a lot of her experience with her blog friends but that is her sharing her own life. I feel like a cad for talking about it. <br />Herrad posted some photos of her self that she found difficult to look at herself.<a href="http://accessdenied-livingwithms.blogspot.com/">http://accessdenied-livingwithms.blogspot.com/</a> I think she looks like a beautiful women who has MS but she saw herself robbed of her looks and strength.<br />Herrad says in her last post that she is accepting what she looks like now. Maybe I can write a bit now.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-66921998478349939362010-05-27T20:22:00.002+02:002010-05-27T20:25:12.221+02:00I don't know why.Suddenly, without warning and totally unwanted I start to get depressed. Negative thoughts dominating my mind. Everything is a huge effort. I can not afford depression!<br />I wish I wasn't mental.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-9709618820229201992010-05-27T11:41:00.002+02:002010-05-27T11:45:13.884+02:00Good News!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibpyZ9RIO005znsVG8mS4PZci3QSBjVOFViuX7LfRigye1HVi2EUbx-CVMHuabgPF2EJ0TUAB3LJGDcLAHUUURa6fhZ723ekBRWMV-bGD_9HPeXF6R7zA6Uz64YMoRjzsXQmBpmhKWLgg7/s1600/motormed+smile.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibpyZ9RIO005znsVG8mS4PZci3QSBjVOFViuX7LfRigye1HVi2EUbx-CVMHuabgPF2EJ0TUAB3LJGDcLAHUUURa6fhZ723ekBRWMV-bGD_9HPeXF6R7zA6Uz64YMoRjzsXQmBpmhKWLgg7/s400/motormed+smile.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475883576939074514" /></a><br />Herrad can start sitting again on Saturday- the weather has gone nasty here but there is sunshine in my heart!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-47618829028443889332010-05-19T21:23:00.003+02:002010-05-19T21:29:06.079+02:00Not so bad...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao9mxAacW239EACuHfZDDTEASF5QMrJAZposSRy2ugQITs4OrVe3NX1Bw7o2J9FMhtugsxlRkcYoA57JbGpQFqKJ6lJCV0Qr5Go1SwKaTLp8GuSvzaLEKKUAl0o12fVROOfTVzauYjHzI/s1600/DSC_0014.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhao9mxAacW239EACuHfZDDTEASF5QMrJAZposSRy2ugQITs4OrVe3NX1Bw7o2J9FMhtugsxlRkcYoA57JbGpQFqKJ6lJCV0Qr5Go1SwKaTLp8GuSvzaLEKKUAl0o12fVROOfTVzauYjHzI/s400/DSC_0014.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473065078359745634" /></a><br />Ton Peeks, the specialist nurse visited us today and he was positive about the wound. He agrees it looks to be a small skin abrasion and nothing more. I think it looks to be healing already.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-34955119931600222512010-05-16T18:19:00.002+02:002010-05-16T18:25:48.640+02:00Light at the end of a tunnel or an oncomming train!I am so knocked down I can barely muster the appropriate Anglo Saxon expletives to do justice to my feelings.<br />Herrad's pressure sore is bleeding again. Just a bit of broken skin. It could be another two months in bed for her.<br />She will have to cancel a fitting for the chair tomorrow. The weather is due to get nice again. We want to go out together.<br />It just aint fair!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-60803655221705992052010-04-28T18:25:00.002+02:002010-04-28T18:31:52.304+02:00Some good news!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdPHVbd_eWvwL8AtbQW8dKIyGVsZVMCkJYZUDRGjrDSf1SAksSyuOi-lE0o0he-bzP5de1Q1YJsf975PP85N6PUGipOlzCylzIpLtmcnRsPJxa02Yix9uK9VIz5KCrTf2_0RyBHugdKqf/s1600/DSC_0009.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdPHVbd_eWvwL8AtbQW8dKIyGVsZVMCkJYZUDRGjrDSf1SAksSyuOi-lE0o0he-bzP5de1Q1YJsf975PP85N6PUGipOlzCylzIpLtmcnRsPJxa02Yix9uK9VIz5KCrTf2_0RyBHugdKqf/s400/DSC_0009.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465226914375334386" /></a><br />Spike is doing fine after his operation. The bones have healed correctly and in a few weeks he should be totally recovered once his knee stabilises. Big relief in the house.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-63778799942563533432010-04-23T14:14:00.006+02:002010-04-24T09:43:04.564+02:00Bob RobertSome times you can only cry. BobRobert died. Leaving sad family and friends with happy memories of a wonderful man. The world is colder less compassionate less witty and less beautiful today. <br /><br /><a href=" http://spinfortunaswheel.blogspot.com/">http://spinfortunaswheel.blogspot.com/</a><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DlWxQw09vm0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DlWxQw09vm0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hLSlEna0rlI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hLSlEna0rlI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-13014292516679531272010-04-23T13:50:00.002+02:002010-04-23T13:54:46.261+02:00For Steve and Bob Robert on Shakespeare's birthday.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHnRZBj8wGUS02g2fFbeTyBIs6JR7SZdEWRk-E8xFhbFmXb2aow5945MRHJ8dPl5qfvR6CO5CpVwshgXGi4qk6IeQHhX5y_0EXgenacgloUFlX53Td8310Gf5dbGyXdqeE-BGr_xwwG7fV/s1600/40.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHnRZBj8wGUS02g2fFbeTyBIs6JR7SZdEWRk-E8xFhbFmXb2aow5945MRHJ8dPl5qfvR6CO5CpVwshgXGi4qk6IeQHhX5y_0EXgenacgloUFlX53Td8310Gf5dbGyXdqeE-BGr_xwwG7fV/s400/40.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463300089004006146" /></a><br />Against my love shall be as I am now,<br />With Time's injurious hand crush'd and o'erworn;<br />When hours have drain'd his blood and fill'd his brow<br />With lines and wrinkles; when his youthful morn<br />Hath travell'd on to age's steepy night;<br />And all those beauties whereof now he's king<br />Are vanishing, or vanished out of sight,<br />Stealing away the treasure of his spring;<br />For such a time do I now fortify<br />Against confounding age's cruel knife,<br />That he shall never cut from memory<br />My sweet love's beauty, though my lover's life:<br />His beauty shall in these black lines be seen,<br />And they shall live, and he in them still green.Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-9997398264392948132010-04-18T12:11:00.003+02:002010-04-18T12:25:53.248+02:00Bo Robert and SteveTwo of the nicest people I have met in the blogosphere. Bo Robert and Steve.<br />The moment seems to have arrived for them. Bo Robert is facing his last pain and may not be around for much longer. <br />The love between these two men has been an inspiration for me. Steve has showed so much courage love and compassion for his beautiful man and done all he could to ease the course of this rotten disease. Fighting all the time for the best support for BR.<br />Even the love of a great man like Steve can not stop a monster like MS.<br />A great love story is entering its final chapter. (Title is link to their blog)Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-911528618550417552010-03-19T15:02:00.002+01:002010-03-19T15:06:28.310+01:00Poor wee doggySpike is back from his operation. He is just crying and giving the occasional heart breaking howl.<br />Six weeks in a cage now. It was a big op and he will be in a lot of pain. Poor wee thing. <br />Herrad and I are both in bits but being terribly brave. My wee friend!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029730304570358220.post-72603720930688647602010-03-18T23:01:00.003+01:002010-03-18T23:14:40.208+01:00As many as one a year!Herrad's birthday yesterday was a good day. She got loads of flowers, old friends dropped by and she shared a glass of bubbly. I made a a pretty little cake and a favourite dinner. <br />So glad she had a good time. I feel terribly responsible for Herrad's moods. I feel such a failure when she is sad. I understand rationally that I can not stop the pain of MS and the frustration of her situation making her feel sad but emotionally I am ripped apart when she cries. I would put my hand in a blender if it would stop her hurting. But nothing will stop her hurting. <br />Yesterday we got past the MS- it was her day: laughing, singing and revelling in the love sent from all round the world. A happy birthday. Today we had a more medical sort of day but that was not so bad either. Tomorrow my wee doggy goes for an operation so I am off to bed ready for the big day for little Spikey.<br />If you sent Herrad a birthday greeting thank you very much- she loved them!Richiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13728288104897625768noreply@blogger.com4