When do you say?

I heard today about how Nick died. His doctors were desperate for him to loose weight. He had diabetes and cardiological problems linked to his obesity.
When he visited us he would often bring a roast chicken and a bag of cream cakes. Herrad asked him not to bring the snacks and we subverted him with lighter things to eat. I know that in the last period he spent most of his time at home eating. When he visited his hand and mouth never stopped. After his birthday he was delighted with the party his friends held for him but I was dismayed that one of his friends gave him a huge box of chocolates. I thought at the time they may as well have stuck a loaded revolver in his hand.
Well Nick's arteries were so bunged up with snack food his poor old heart died. Ironically a group of his friends had got together to try to make him take care once he got over this one. Just too late.
His friends are getting his journals ordered and edited and will get them published. Evidently some sad souls are scared he may have mentioned them. If he mentions me (even derogatory) I will just be flattered.

More Nick

A comic tale.

I went to the wrong funeral. I was in the wrong place at the right time and missed seeing Nick off. My only conciliation is to know it will make a funny story in a few days time when I don't feel so sad.
I may have given up comedy but evidently comedy has not given up me.
If I am wrong about an after life he will be holding his belly and chortling.

Off to bury the boy.

Goodbye my old friend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxWDI68CQFA

Thank you everybody.

Thank you for the kind words about Nick. It was good to write down how I was feeling and so very nice to read your kind comments.
Nick was a bringer of laughter and wonder. I will miss him but I regard my self as lucky to have known such an extraordinary man.
Thanks for sharing this sad moment with me. You have really helped.

death at a birthday party.

Today is Herrad's birthday and St Pat's and I feel like shit. My old friend Nick died yesterday and I am just starting to realise what it means.
Nick was a brilliant man. He had a lifetimes battle with depression. It impacted on him in many ways. He was so clever and talented but never hit the heights he could have. If only he had been able to love himself a bit more. He was born to a theatrical family in South Africa. His father was well known for his satirical plays about South African politics. Nick fled South Africa after refusing to participate in the illegal war in Namibia. He was a refugee in Amsterdam for the rest of his life but he never lost his love of his home land. I met him in 89 and got to know him in 97. The more time I spent with him the more interesting he became.
I have lost my only male friend in Amsterdam. I have lost unique conversation. I have lost a big hug and a kind word. I have lost Nick Leslie

In memory of Nick Leslie

My great friend the lovely Nick Leslie who died today. I will miss him so much.