Hasty post

I am waiting for a group of men to come to my house so I can show them my wifes bottom. What a strange world I live in now! (Doctors and nurses form the rehablitaion centre are checking the progress of the pressure wound. It is good I think and am getting impatient to have this confirmed and havving the rest of the day returned to me but they are half an hour late. It is quite stressful for Herrad -mostly in anticipation than in execution so this delay adds a disproportionate amopunt of stress to the whole procedure. She will be sore and grumpy all afternoon. I have a strategy to make it a bit a better- I have made potato scones (a Scottish delicasy that is, of course, fried). Must be watching Mat McGinn videos on youtube- not pc and sometimes his attitudes seem very dated but a hell of a talent.

Happy New Year -love to Steve and BR

It has beeen a nice couple of weeks. I have had a cold for ages but it held off till the last few days to become a stinker so we have had a good couple of weeks. We had a lovely time for ourselves and a few nice visitors.
The January freeze ended yesterday and now we have a lovely mild sunny spring like day.
My misrable Xmass greeting is now superceded by a determindly optimistic happy new year to the whole world.

Steve asked about seizures in his comment- http://screamingrichie.blogspot.com/2008/12/scrooge-rules.html Herrad has not suffered anything we have not been able to help with marijhauna. The only other neuro drug she uses is Baclofen and we seem to have kept the worst symptoms under control. She can have spasms when stressed (being moved clumsily or sudden tempature changes) but never as severe as BR seems to be hit by. MS is very personal and no two people exhibit all the same symptoms so I can not say that the weed would help everyone but I do believe it helps so much with Herrad that I doubt if she would have much quality of life without it.
I repeat that the neurologist at the OLVG (Hospital) recomended it as the best drug to use as did Proffesor Polman at the VU (free universtiy hospital).
This is no help to those who live in prohibition areas. It is ironic that law abiding Americans are banned from recieving the best availble treatment.
This carer situation is crap. I feel for anyone forced into decieding for others. Herrad and I have the correct things in place and I know her wants but at some point I will have to help put them into action. Nothing in previouis experience has prepared me for this.
I can only think of plattitudes to say: I aint got no wisdom to share.

Tom Leonard poem.

when the colonial oppressor
wears the proxy badge of victimhood
 
when the state talks about democracy
and boasts about democracy
and busses in its voters
from the 4 corners of the globe
 
when the possession of nationality
is a foot landing on an airport tarmac
and the dispossessed fester
in the camps of the dispossessed
 
 
 
when spokespersons for the state 
are good at explaining the current position in English
because they are English
and good at sounding American
because they are American
 
and the natives are hopeless spokespersons
who speak in heavily accented English
because they are not English
who don’t sound American
because they are not American
 
they are foreigners
on their native soil
and they sound like foreigners
because that’s all they are
to the English, and to the Americans
and to the incoming dispossessors
 
foreigners
 
 
 
 
 
statehood is right to arms
statehood is control of the air
 
and the state walls up the natives
the state drives roads through their livelihood
the state uproots their livelihood
 
statehood is tank
statehood is bulldozer of homes
 
 
 
 
state killing is not killing
state killing is justifiable context
state killing is the operation of justice
 
stateless killing is simply killing
stateless killing is never context
stateless killing is motiveless evil
 
we are the state
you are the stateless
 
the battle is good versus evil
what more history do you need?
 
 
 
 
to accuse the state of oppression
is genocide
 
to accuse the state of racism
is genocide
 
to accuse the state of colonial expansion
is genocide
 
no one wants to be accused of genocide
much better to turn a blind eye 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
but the state is oppressive
but the state is racist
but the state is intent on colonial expansion
 
and the state colonises the past
the state says its people are the single victims of history
 
yet many are the victims of history
no single people has precedence
 
 
 
 
we inherit no victimhood from the murdered in the genocides of history
we Inherit no guilt from the murderers in the genocides of history
 
they are the dead
we are the living
 
who alone are responsible for our actions
who cannot forever blame our role as victims   
 
to be oppressive
to be racist
to be intent on colonial expansion
 
wearing the proxy badge of victimhood
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Tom Leonard
 

Bye Bye HP

I heard just now that Harold Pinter has died- a smart boy from East London done good! Not all my friends liked his aproach to the theatre but I always found his writing iluminating he wrote some cracking polemical essays. He was a good man who held his principles. His caring inteligent imput will be missed in English society.

Scrooge rules!

I fucking hate this. I want our life back. I hated today. This was Herrad's favorite day and I was always so pissed off with jingly bells and ho fucking ho. I was a grumpy drunk who hated the bars being full of amatuer drinkers. Well I stopped drinking many years ago and this time of the year became a time of sharing preperations and hosting friends. Now it is shit, I dont get drunk and I have no one to share the tasks with.
Deep blue day.

A typicaly stupid overdressed and overweight half wit was screaming abuse at a disabled woman who had bumped her child in her mobility scooter. No concern for the howling brat, she was just enjoying screaming at a frightened woman. I told her to shut the fuck up- but in nicer terms and her friend was keen for the fat cow to stop. Merry fucking xmas

For those of us in Northen lattitudes

Well Happy new year every body- have you noticed how the evenings are starting to get longer again!

I intend to be happy!

Some times I don’t want this. I want to feel good again. I want to do normal things. I want to spend the whole day in meaningless naval contemplation and not leave bed. I do not want to be asked “how I am” in that concerned manner- one day I will take them up on the enquiry and give them chapter and verse on how I am- I am screaming on the abyss of despair as my soul burns- apart from that I have a bit of a sniffle but mustn’t grumble.

Any way I got a bit desperate last week. From sad to depressed. By Friday I was a basket case. I saw how bad it was hitting Herrad and have fought back. I have forced my self to do cheerful things- that is to make nice food and clean up a bit. So it’s OK now. I have a big fruitcake in the oven and I made a potato scones for Herrad and she had a version of a fired breakfast which put her in a good mood. I have walked and fed the dogs and now I am enjoying the mundane pleasures instead of being overwhelmed by the mundane problems.

Happy solstice-Summer is coming!