Friday, July 24, 2009

Get over it!

I was neglectful and allowed Herrad to get a skin infection. I spotted it in time and it is under control but it was something I thought I had covered. Herrad being stuck in bed and so immobile and the hot sticky weather- all factors but I need to be on top of them all.
Since Tuesday I have been feeling like I have been balancing on the edge of the abyss- I have felt that within a week my neglect will have killed her and it will be all my fault and it is all just too much.
Today I have got balance back again. Yeah a mistake was made. Not the first and unlikely to be the last. It did do some damage to Herrad and she would have felt pain if her nervous system worked. I will always feel bad when I get it wrong but I remain determined to get it right next time. I get it right most times and I learn from the mistakes.
Life is too short to worry- I have waisted two days with anxiety. Time to move on.


Amelia said...

You wouldn't be you if you didn't feel bad that a mistake was made. But that's what makes you such a great carer. You are always striving to be the best you can and to do everything you possibly can for Herrad. Unfortunately you aren't super human, so it's not always going to go right, but that doesn't mean you haven't tried your best.
You are amazing. The amount you do for Herrad. Not just physically but emotionally too. You are there for her 24/7 and I bet if you asked her, she wouldn't have it any other way.

Love & BIG hugs
Amelia XxXxX

steve said...

I, personally and selfishly, am glad you are not superhuman. I need company.

FrankandMary said...

I've done the "I was neglectful" to myself as a caregiver but slowly I learned that the truly neglectful I come in contact with always blame it on someone else, even the person they are caring for. People who aren't neglectful seem to think they are all the time. You'd never neglect Herrad. But human? Yeah, you are that. And I am sure she is glad of that.