Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tom Leonard poem.

when the colonial oppressor
wears the proxy badge of victimhood
when the state talks about democracy
and boasts about democracy
and busses in its voters
from the 4 corners of the globe
when the possession of nationality
is a foot landing on an airport tarmac
and the dispossessed fester
in the camps of the dispossessed
when spokespersons for the state 
are good at explaining the current position in English
because they are English
and good at sounding American
because they are American
and the natives are hopeless spokespersons
who speak in heavily accented English
because they are not English
who don’t sound American
because they are not American
they are foreigners
on their native soil
and they sound like foreigners
because that’s all they are
to the English, and to the Americans
and to the incoming dispossessors
statehood is right to arms
statehood is control of the air
and the state walls up the natives
the state drives roads through their livelihood
the state uproots their livelihood
statehood is tank
statehood is bulldozer of homes
state killing is not killing
state killing is justifiable context
state killing is the operation of justice
stateless killing is simply killing
stateless killing is never context
stateless killing is motiveless evil
we are the state
you are the stateless
the battle is good versus evil
what more history do you need?
to accuse the state of oppression
is genocide
to accuse the state of racism
is genocide
to accuse the state of colonial expansion
is genocide
no one wants to be accused of genocide
much better to turn a blind eye 
but the state is oppressive
but the state is racist
but the state is intent on colonial expansion
and the state colonises the past
the state says its people are the single victims of history
yet many are the victims of history
no single people has precedence
we inherit no victimhood from the murdered in the genocides of history
we Inherit no guilt from the murderers in the genocides of history
they are the dead
we are the living
who alone are responsible for our actions
who cannot forever blame our role as victims   
to be oppressive
to be racist
to be intent on colonial expansion
wearing the proxy badge of victimhood
Tom Leonard

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Bye Bye HP

I heard just now that Harold Pinter has died- a smart boy from East London done good! Not all my friends liked his aproach to the theatre but I always found his writing iluminating he wrote some cracking polemical essays. He was a good man who held his principles. His caring inteligent imput will be missed in English society.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Scrooge rules!

I fucking hate this. I want our life back. I hated today. This was Herrad's favorite day and I was always so pissed off with jingly bells and ho fucking ho. I was a grumpy drunk who hated the bars being full of amatuer drinkers. Well I stopped drinking many years ago and this time of the year became a time of sharing preperations and hosting friends. Now it is shit, I dont get drunk and I have no one to share the tasks with.
Deep blue day.

A typicaly stupid overdressed and overweight half wit was screaming abuse at a disabled woman who had bumped her child in her mobility scooter. No concern for the howling brat, she was just enjoying screaming at a frightened woman. I told her to shut the fuck up- but in nicer terms and her friend was keen for the fat cow to stop. Merry fucking xmas

Monday, December 22, 2008

For those of us in Northen lattitudes

Well Happy new year every body- have you noticed how the evenings are starting to get longer again!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I intend to be happy!

Some times I don’t want this. I want to feel good again. I want to do normal things. I want to spend the whole day in meaningless naval contemplation and not leave bed. I do not want to be asked “how I am” in that concerned manner- one day I will take them up on the enquiry and give them chapter and verse on how I am- I am screaming on the abyss of despair as my soul burns- apart from that I have a bit of a sniffle but mustn’t grumble.

Any way I got a bit desperate last week. From sad to depressed. By Friday I was a basket case. I saw how bad it was hitting Herrad and have fought back. I have forced my self to do cheerful things- that is to make nice food and clean up a bit. So it’s OK now. I have a big fruitcake in the oven and I made a potato scones for Herrad and she had a version of a fired breakfast which put her in a good mood. I have walked and fed the dogs and now I am enjoying the mundane pleasures instead of being overwhelmed by the mundane problems.

Happy solstice-Summer is coming!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Happy days...

Three days to our aniversary- I dont believe in marriage: I require neither church or state to sanction what I feel.
Getting hitched made a staement of commitment that mattered more to Herrad but I got the point .
Not every one thought I was such a good choice. Some people thought I was a disaster walking. What they never knew was that no one could love Herrad more.
Loving her is so easy for me and I am so flattered that she chose me.
Life has played cruel little jokes on us but I still reckon I am doing well: I have so much love in my life!
Only what the hell to get for a present?

Terror and people.

This is a very interesting link.
Ms Roy’s excellent piece on the situation within and around the borders of India certainly helped fill in some missing information and opened discussions that I felt were left out of most comment on Mumbai. Thank you Ms. Roy.
She demonstrated well that “terrorism” can mean many things. Terrorism is a methodology and not ideological. It is Machiavelli in action. The problem for the Indian state is not terrorism- it is its inability to keep its monopoly of terrorism. Diseases that are easily treated terrorize whole communities. Some national minorities in India live in state of siege from the Indian government. Indian workers live in daily terror of unemployment, homelessness and starvation: that is what disciplines them to years of monotony and exhaustion as their hands and brains create the Indian economic miracle.

Looking at the history of the anarchist move into ‘propaganda of the deed’ in the nineteenth
Century you see a clear mistake in thinking. Joachim Most’s belief that the new science of explosives had democratized the ability to do harm and that it was now possible for the working class to challenge the bosses monopoly of terror did not prove the trump card. The ruling class did not react to their new vulnerability in the way reasonable people may have expected. Rather than understand the need for change and an end to oppression they armed for war and increased the terror. The working class being sickened with the cruelty and violence in their daily lives did not rally to the concept of inflicting sickening acts of violence in the name of freedom, even if the victims were the most degenerate part of a parasite class. The holders of the means to murder on an industrial scale could then label those amateur bombers and sharpshooters as ‘terrorists’ and the cause of the instability that occasionally rocks capitalist society and as a good reason to suppress any form of organization amongst the poor.
The desperation of risen workers who saw the aftermath of the Paris Commune and other post insurrectionary bloodbaths led to the mistaken idea that we could change the world by mirroring the methodology of our oppressors. The Marxist Leninist party and the Anarchist terror cell were forms of organization we took from our enemy and have only served to recreate the dictatorial elitism of our oppressors within our own ranks. The false methodologies of compulsion and authority are the means of creating dictatorship not freedom.
The only challenge to terrorism is a challenge to all authority. Capitalism is not a system that even pretends to meet the needs of people. Whole sections of the world population can go hang when not required- whole countries starving – terror in every hungry face. Ms Roy is so right in pointing this out. The atrocious acts in Mumbai are shocking because the amateur terrorists have not the skill and subtlety of the professionals. Capitalism is the ultimate terror cell and is willing to contemplate a planetary suicide mission rather than consider compromise.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Class War is still being waged!

I am a prejudiced man- deeply deeply engrained irrational hatred for the middle class blights my attempt to peacefully co-exist with my fellow humans. I am not in my natural environment here in Holland. My friends (even the Dutch ones) have moved away and I have made very few new friends. Most of the people I am still in contact with are very nice but middle class. There are so many things that make me want to scream about them but honestly I do love them. One of my favourite women pissed me off so much yesterday. She has never had to do a shit job in her life. She has worked in profession she loves since finishing her education. The recession has forced her into a position where she may have to take a 9-5 job. "If I had to do a job like that 36 hours a week my brain would turn to jelly"
I have done crap jobs since leaving school at 16. My brain aint jelly. I have had mental health problems when frustration lead to depression and substance abuse but like millions of other workers I got it back together again. I have developed my education by attending night classes and the Open University after eight hours of toilet cleaning or street sweeping. I have acted (in a bloody terrible play) at the Edinburgh Fringe and I once performed in front of thousands of workers as the Glasgow May Day celebration... I have not done all I could have done because much of life has been wasted working. The surplus value created by labour and the labour of the rest of my class is what supports the middle class and their life styles.-Considering what is going down now I reckon I am doing OK. I guess 36 years in the labour market prepares you for the pain of life.

Any way dear hearts I wish you all a boss free world!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dave Allen on God

I love Crismuss with Herrad

I am pleased with my self! I got us a christmas tree. Genuine red plastic. I had to go across town on my bike and brave the hell of a garden centre but I did it. Herrad loves it.
I am not religous but I learned to take a childish delite in the secular rituals when I realised it realy made Herrad happy. Our first living together crismuss she asked if I wanted a tree. I said no and her face dropped- Herrad could never play poker. I said ok lets have one then. When she came home from work the next night I had it lit and decorated and she was happy as little girl with it. Now I make a feast, decorate the house and give nice presents. I realy hate it when some goes along with something but makes it clear that it is not what they want. Yeah I am a cynic and an antheist and hate crismuss- Herrad shares my views on comercialism and the God stuff but she is a Trinidadian and will not miss a chance to make a party. I aint going to ruin her fun so I join in whole heartedly and I have a great time too. I thank my Caribean beauty for kicking my English arse and getting me to enjoy life!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Not wanting to offend...

Back on the atheism theme. Steve left a comment but no one else. I have had mails from friends agreeing but I know I must have upset some people who read this. I know faith is a personal thing. For me it is a poor substitute for evidence. I prefer an honest "don't know" than a fantasy answer. I do not hold all the teachings of all religon as intrinsicly wrong- just the superstitious parts. Steve has found that parts of his Catholic upbringing have given him strength even though he is not loved by the Catholic church because he is gay. My mother was raised in an ultra-protestant sect and my Dad a Catholic- because of their mixed mariage I have no contact with the Irish side of my family- when I say "mixed mariage" they are both white but my Nan thought my Mum was a proterstant whore with whome my Dad fathered bastards. Foutunately both my parents dropped the God myth when Gods servants on Earth could not accept their love. Despite their rejection of the God stuff parts of Christian thinking were very important to how they raised me- Judge not lest you be judged- Do unto others as you would have them do to you- the Sermon On the Mount rocks! All that stoning of adulteres and bans on oral sex they can shove!
I am not saying you are wrong if you do not believe the same as me- I am saying I think what you believe is in error. If it helps you make sense of this chaos then good luck to you. I would never want to impose my ideas on you but I do reserve the right to comment...

Talk to people!

I have just written a lovely piece about the need of MS sufferers for support and friendship. Brilianty argued and illustrated with charming anecdotes- I lost it- So another ill considered rant.
If you know some with MS do not let the disease dictate how you think about them. Talk to them about your life-moan about the jerk in the office- what a pig your partner is being- talk the same shit to them as you always did. Herrad is a dynamic woman, her body is getting less dynamic but her mind is frighteningly sharp (believe me!) and needs to be fed and exercised to stay that way. Don't get all awkward because your MS friend is suffering physicaly: that can not be helped. We can not stop their bodies breaking down but we can keep our friends in the world. Our issolated life gives Herrad and I a perspective on the world that has proved helpful for friends. We can often see how other people may be motivated- we seem to have an advanced model bullshit detector!
If you can not visit or 'phone like you may have wished: dont get embarrased- life happens- just call when you can or send an email. Please treat the normal person with MS a like a normal person. Don't worry about upsetting an MS person 'cos they are prety good at taking the hard stuff and if their suffering matters to you then your suffering matters to them- even if it is not life threatening.
We have learned a lot about ourselves and some how find it easy to think kindly of people. Life is tough and we all need each other. Mutual aid- now thats an idea... anyone thought of that?