Sunday, December 7, 2008

Talk to people!

I have just written a lovely piece about the need of MS sufferers for support and friendship. Brilianty argued and illustrated with charming anecdotes- I lost it- So another ill considered rant.
If you know some with MS do not let the disease dictate how you think about them. Talk to them about your life-moan about the jerk in the office- what a pig your partner is being- talk the same shit to them as you always did. Herrad is a dynamic woman, her body is getting less dynamic but her mind is frighteningly sharp (believe me!) and needs to be fed and exercised to stay that way. Don't get all awkward because your MS friend is suffering physicaly: that can not be helped. We can not stop their bodies breaking down but we can keep our friends in the world. Our issolated life gives Herrad and I a perspective on the world that has proved helpful for friends. We can often see how other people may be motivated- we seem to have an advanced model bullshit detector!
If you can not visit or 'phone like you may have wished: dont get embarrased- life happens- just call when you can or send an email. Please treat the normal person with MS a like a normal person. Don't worry about upsetting an MS person 'cos they are prety good at taking the hard stuff and if their suffering matters to you then your suffering matters to them- even if it is not life threatening.
We have learned a lot about ourselves and some how find it easy to think kindly of people. Life is tough and we all need each other. Mutual aid- now thats an idea... anyone thought of that?

1 comment:

Jaya said...

I totally get it Richie and can vouch for how much Herrad has helped me in my struggle with work, in particular the harm reduction philosophy is something you learn through practice and is not something you can read a manual on..our mutually enriching conversations have enlightened my perspective. I have even recounted to my friends here that Herrad's body may be failing, but she is sharp as a whistle and has inspired me. thanx for the post!