Sunday, December 21, 2008

I intend to be happy!

Some times I don’t want this. I want to feel good again. I want to do normal things. I want to spend the whole day in meaningless naval contemplation and not leave bed. I do not want to be asked “how I am” in that concerned manner- one day I will take them up on the enquiry and give them chapter and verse on how I am- I am screaming on the abyss of despair as my soul burns- apart from that I have a bit of a sniffle but mustn’t grumble.

Any way I got a bit desperate last week. From sad to depressed. By Friday I was a basket case. I saw how bad it was hitting Herrad and have fought back. I have forced my self to do cheerful things- that is to make nice food and clean up a bit. So it’s OK now. I have a big fruitcake in the oven and I made a potato scones for Herrad and she had a version of a fired breakfast which put her in a good mood. I have walked and fed the dogs and now I am enjoying the mundane pleasures instead of being overwhelmed by the mundane problems.

Happy solstice-Summer is coming!

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