Sunday, April 17, 2011

I have got to be more positive because my current state is getting Herrad down. I can not make her MS better but I can make her feel worse. Yesterday I decided to put all the effort I can into being brighter. Even if I do not feel happy I will act happy and hopeful. It is not easy, I am sure I am clinically depressed- that is I do not have the right brain chemistry to feel happy so I need to take action to stimulate my brain into producing the right chemicals to make me feel happy. Fatigue is one of the symptoms of depression so I have to up my exercise whilst feeling wiped out. It can be done and will be done. Blogging again has helped already. I am going to make my self a coffee and get the house clean and shining and try to get the dogs out for a long walk. I will stop watching television- always a sign of depression for me. Usually TV just makes me angry and frustrated, movies the same, I can not believe how much effort goes in to making trivial meaningless rubbish and how much importance it is given by society. I know not all TV and all films are rubbish but most (99%) are. Watching them makes me feel I have given up. OK I may be an undereducated manual labourer but I still have something of a brain and will try to feed it.

2 comments:

Peace Be With You said...

I am glad you have this outlet. You give me great insight into what my husband must go through as a caregiver. I have been wondering about Herrad because Google Reader keeps putting up posts for her which then show no content. I hope you both are okay.

Judy

Patrick said...

Caregiving demands the skills of an actor but the heart of a human (and a dash of clown is particularly helpful). That is what separates us, my friend, from those TV and film actors. Except they get paid a whole lot more for a whole lot less. :)

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick