Friday, March 9, 2012

Back to moan.

I got a comment months after my last post- thanks Olivia. Ok am I going to do a second post soon? I don't really know. Right now I want to write something again. Last time I got so sad I could not write so I stopped trying- I found myself crying over the keyboard and unable to find words.
When things go wrong I take it to heart. I want to make things good so much that when things go bad I feel the lowest form of life on Earth.
Yes you guessed it- things are crap at the moment and I feel like it is all my fault. Herrad's decubitus wound has opened up again. A pressure sore- it was a monster; if you have never experienced a pressure sore do what ever you can to avoid the experience- my experience of Herrad's is in previous posts but understand that people die from pressure sores- gangrenous holes bone deep. I washed dead flesh out of it everyday for months. It was terrible.
Right now it is just a layer of skin scraped from the scar but it is enough to put Herrad flat on her back till it heals. Somehow it got open again. What did I do?
I think we have stopped it getting infected and it is starting the slow process of recovering. We do not know how long it will take and the spring weather is just starting so frustration levels are going off the register.
By the way I like to put rubbish in my tags just to drag poor idiots to this blog.

9 comments:

Herrad said...

hi richie
you are wonderful.
i love you and think your care for me is the best.
love,
herrad

Richie said...

"hi richie
you are wonderful.
i love you and think your care for me is the best.
love,
herrad"
Then it is all worth while

Olivia said...

Hi Richie, you are doing a good job. Keep trying, I know it means the world to Herrad. You guys try not to be scared. If you can meditate together give it a whirl...Mr. Romantic and I are doing this together...something we can do to feel close because of physical limitations. Big hugs to you both.
Olivia

Patrick said...

Richie, if Herrad says your care is the best who are you to doubt it? Though believe me I totally understand.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick

Che koala said...

Richie, yr posts are breathtaking in getting to the heart of the human condition. Right down to that unquenchable dark humour in how you construct your tags :P

Too many philosphers spent their whole lives trying to create expositions on what you succinctly bring to our attention in posts such as this one.

Thanks for sharing and caring.

Mary Gerdt said...

You two are clearly one and when one hurts the other does too. Decubitus ulcers just happen and you just have to give it time. The big ulcers happen too when people do not follow orders or are immune deficient. The love thing does the most :) People you do not know pray for you hard every day. love, mary

Gareth said...

HUGS HUGS @BIG HEALING HUGS
GXXX

FrankandMary said...

I often find that the person who tends to do a very good job is the first person to think he is not doing a very good job.

This is what I see:
You love Herrad.
Herrad loves you.
You do some things right.
You do some things wrong.
You try you best, but you can't be perfect at everything.
This is good news to the rest of us, since we cannot be perfect at everything either. And still:
You love Herrad.
Herrad loves you.

~Mary

Stephany said...

We are all standing with you in spirit and understand the enormous task you and Herrad struggle through daily just in care and re-arranging of pillows etc! You take care of Herrad in an outstanding way.

Keep on venting, we are all here!

PS-Hi Herrad :)hugs to you both