Thursday, March 29, 2012

Herrad is hurting very bad.

We had a talk last night. Herrad could not hold back. All the fear frustration and pain flooding out. This is just so bad. We just wanted to get old together and she knows she will not be there with me, all we want is each other- we are a boring couple.
This is just so cruel and so hard to live through. She is in so much pain and nothing I can do makes it any better. I feel like a jailer working for MS not a care giver. She is not going to be with me and then what do I do?
Oh this hurts so much..so much and I can't do anything to make it better. I love her so much and I can do nothing to help her. MS is so nasty.

7 comments:

Judy at Peace Be With You said...

My heart goes out to you. MS is a cruel disease. No one knows that better than you and Herrad. I send you both good wishes, hoping that it provides some solace.

kazumi said...

Hi, Richie. I came across your site somehow. I am a care giver of a woman who has had Alzheimer's and stroke last year. She is bed bound and most people had gave up on her for a while. In the mist of that, I w asked to be her care giver. I lost my husband last year. My husband has taught me anything is possible with help from God if we are open. So, now, I am helping to improve Quality of Life for the woman I take care of. Would you be open to possibility to improve Quality of Life for your loved one?

Patrick said...

Richie, sending you a 6093 km man-hug, my friend - some days that's all any of us can do. Tomorrow is never a given, only today.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick

FrankandMary said...

The amount you have helped her already is impossible to calculate. There is always a basic human desire for freedom & dignity..you have helped her acheive both much more often than she would have been able to had she not had you by her side on this journey. All of it is mercilessly agitating, & one thousand other things that cannot be described in this space. But having you..well, that does help, every second. ~Mary

Stephany said...

I'm sorry for both of you, it is devastating,sad and just plain sucks. HUGS to both of you

steve said...

When things were at their worst, I had to forget about the future and put as much as possible on autopilot. Caring when the care given doesn't seem effective is emotionally draining.

The time you have together may be in short supply, but together you will valiently fight for joyfilled moments until the end.

Love,

-steve

Jaya said...

Awwwww Richie darling, I so feel your pain....you are Herrad's absolute darling as she is yours and what a gift you both are in my life.
So looking forward to seeing you soon and talking from our hearts..<3
I was talking to one of my youth, a kindred spirit about you and what an absolute darling you are.Take care Richie!