For Steve and Bob Robert on Shakespeare's birthday.

Against my love shall be as I am now,
With Time's injurious hand crush'd and o'erworn;
When hours have drain'd his blood and fill'd his brow
With lines and wrinkles; when his youthful morn
Hath travell'd on to age's steepy night;
And all those beauties whereof now he's king
Are vanishing, or vanished out of sight,
Stealing away the treasure of his spring;
For such a time do I now fortify
Against confounding age's cruel knife,
That he shall never cut from memory
My sweet love's beauty, though my lover's life:
His beauty shall in these black lines be seen,
And they shall live, and he in them still green.

Bo Robert and Steve

Two of the nicest people I have met in the blogosphere. Bo Robert and Steve.
The moment seems to have arrived for them. Bo Robert is facing his last pain and may not be around for much longer.
The love between these two men has been an inspiration for me. Steve has showed so much courage love and compassion for his beautiful man and done all he could to ease the course of this rotten disease. Fighting all the time for the best support for BR.
Even the love of a great man like Steve can not stop a monster like MS.
A great love story is entering its final chapter. (Title is link to their blog)

Poor wee doggy

Spike is back from his operation. He is just crying and giving the occasional heart breaking howl.
Six weeks in a cage now. It was a big op and he will be in a lot of pain. Poor wee thing.
Herrad and I are both in bits but being terribly brave. My wee friend!

As many as one a year!

Herrad's birthday yesterday was a good day. She got loads of flowers, old friends dropped by and she shared a glass of bubbly. I made a a pretty little cake and a favourite dinner.
So glad she had a good time. I feel terribly responsible for Herrad's moods. I feel such a failure when she is sad. I understand rationally that I can not stop the pain of MS and the frustration of her situation making her feel sad but emotionally I am ripped apart when she cries. I would put my hand in a blender if it would stop her hurting. But nothing will stop her hurting.
Yesterday we got past the MS- it was her day: laughing, singing and revelling in the love sent from all round the world. A happy birthday. Today we had a more medical sort of day but that was not so bad either. Tomorrow my wee doggy goes for an operation so I am off to bed ready for the big day for little Spikey.
If you sent Herrad a birthday greeting thank you very much- she loved them!

still here still getting bye

I am still here, still getting bye. Worries are always with me but I am less oppressed by them than I have been.
Herrad's wound opening again and the dog being sick plus the winter blues got a bit on top of me. I am trying to spring clean house body and mind and go forward in a positive manner.
I want to do something daft- all my life I have taken the less sensible option but right now I am Mr Responsible. I need to be a good boy so I will be a good boy but I want an outlet for the crazy side.
I am toying with doing motorcycle lessons and buying an old bike. I saw a Benelli Tornado from 1970 and a Bonny from 64. I could afford one.I would not have time to drive much but I could keep it in the living room and stroke it Only thing is I am a crap mechanic. I have a touch like an elephant with delicate machinery.
We will see what we can do.

two dangerous old pot heads

Scary scary world!

I have not been writing -in fact I have been hiding. I was right into communicating and contacted old friends and was contributing to some discussion forums but then I just felt too exposed- too open. Assumptions made and questions asked made me feel obliged to be explaining every thing to every body all the time. I need friends in real time and face to face and suddenly the inadequacies of cyber friendship mocked my isolation more than alleviated it. I despaired at the stupidity of some of the nasties who have to leave vicious comments on vulnerable peoples blogs. Any way I am either feeling a bit better or going into a manic phase- either way I should be active again- must dash Herrad is calling.