Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Thanks to Herrad's friends

Herrad sent an email and blogged about how she is feeling now. She has had to let go of the "I'm OK" answer when you ask her "How are You?'
This is a relief for me. I have to ask her how she is all the time. Cold, warm, hungry thirsty cant scroll down the computer screen cos her hands are shit, sitting to the left thus straining the right side of her neck. I need to know 'cos it is my job to to sort it out. Unfourtunately my necessary question was getting the answer she was not givving to the casual "How are you?" from friends.
"How do you fucking think I am? I have got bloody MS and hurt all bloody over you arsehole how do I feel? I feel like shit!"
I am a stroppy git myself and had to take a deep breath and be all sweet and bring her round to discussing what I can do to help. Sometimes I would react. She would get upset and we then talked hugged and got going on the right track again. Life is easier now it is public: Herrad feels really shitty- now we can get on with the rest of life.
Herrad's friends have been great. The kind supportive comments from her fellow MS bloggers and her other friends around the world have been a huge lift for us.
We are pushing forward with some new ideas and Herrad is working on making podcasts again.
Your comments and emails have helped us get rolling again. Thanks.


Anne said...

Hi Richie: Nice to read your words and see how YOU are doing because it is not always about Herrad, now is it? LOL

I'm glad you are both so open in talking so that things don't get bogged down and everyone gets mad. Mad doesn't solve anything.

When my hubby asks how I am doing, I usually am nice about it and say the truth. But sometimes, ya just need to yell out what Herrad yelled to you. Except I "show teeth" at the end of my statement, even if it is not a true smile, I at least make the attempt to smile.

It does get old with everyone asking how you are and when my hubby asks more than once in an hour, yeah it can get real old. But he has to know - just like you have to know.

Letting off steam (both of you) is wonderful and I admire both of you for still being able to get along.

You are a wonderful caregiver and not only does Herrad appreciate you, so do we, her friends.


mortonlake said...

i found when i was diagnosed,my friends didnt know what to say.in fact,couple sort of faded away.now,i think they realise its a waste of time askin how i am lol.im ok ty.stock answer.take care,mort