Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I aint getting none!

How do you talk about this discretely? MS has robbed us of sex. Last try (a couple of years ago) caused Herrad immense spasms. It was obvious that sexual stimulation did not cause pleasant sensations for her. It was a shock for her- not feeling like a 'real woman' and such doubts- and thinking about my previous post about partners leaving. Sex was certainly one of the reasons we got together and a very sweet part of our life together. Losing it was painful but we have much more. Too much to lose.
I am not naturally inclined to chastity. I do not want an affair. I have too many friends who have worked in the sex industry ever to want to be a punter. Masturbation, the solitary vice as Baden Powell called it, is my only release.
I find the the commercial porn industry revolting and the amateur sites evoke pathos rather than Eros. It is not resolvable. I am just going to have to put up with it.
I had the offer of a good shag when I was still working- it scared the shit out of me. I nearly cried. I did not even want to but the idea was torment- just knowing I could. In the next month I put on kilos and I ran when ever I saw the woman.
So the spring is coming, the sap is rising and I look forward to another year with out a Donald Duck.
Herrad must miss it too and she is ill and feeling rotten and here I am whining 'cos I aint getting to do the dance of the chipolata like in the good old days. Men can be very sad.


Anonymous said...

You are not sad its this situation thats sad.

I miss our intimacy too, the lack of sex is hard, not being able to sleep in the same bed kills me.

But you are right we do have more we are soul mates.

You are the love of my life.

FrankandMary said...

I appreciate a blogger who does not protect me from the unpleasant facts. You think your wanting love & affection & sex with the person you chose to spend your life with makes you sad? It makes you human. Sad behavior? It does not ring true. Few of us are inclined to chastity. You & Herrad are in an untenable situation- an ongoing upheaval, THAT is what is sad, not you. ~Mary

Stan said...

Dear Richie:

I believe putting it out there in the open is a healthy way of dealing with an unpleasant situation. There is more to a relationship and love than sex of course. But it's a nice added bonus shall we say. I can't help think that compared to other joys in life that have been limited; sex is probably not at the top of the list.
Just know there are those of us out here that will just have to have more sex because of you; to make up for what you’re not having {laughing}. All I can say is thanks a lot Richie! Now even Mark Krusen is going to have to get back on his pogo stick again {Smirk}. Remind me if we ever meet; to compliment you on how soft your hand shakes are. {LMAO}

Thank Goodness I am purely sanctified of both mind and body in my omnipotent existence. {Laughing}

You’re Bloggery Pal,

Anonymous said...

This is a sad reality of MS. The muscle spasms and lack of mobility make things especially difficult - and sensations are certainly not what they used to be! That said, do try mutual masturbation - Herrad can enjoy seeing you give yourself pleasure, and you can enjoy seeing her do the same - however it works. When my husband and I are together, and he finishes, I use a plug-in (industrial strength! lol) vibrator, and even that doesn't work for me most of the time - but at least I try. And he enjoys watching me. What ever, just be sure to spend time being naked together. Skin to skin contact is very important. Best of luck to you both.

Jaya said...

Richie & Herrad -I ain't getting any either and its been 2 yrs now but what I have discovered lately is to think about and then make love to me...its v gooood ummmmm.
Check this out: http://www.extatica.com/articles/Bonheim_J_10Steps_1.htm
I agree that it is not something that completes you, just something that balances you...if you get my drift! My body aches with the hunger for that bond of skin and heart...it will be what it is and that is all good too. It is just the way it is suppose to be. I am happy to be alive and loved. I know that your circumstances are totally different and both of you know that you have each other and that one will depart first not out of choice...your pain is enormous and unfathomable for me so plse don't misconstrue anything...luv u both... Kisses ((((H+R)))

steve said...

You and me both, pal.

There are all kinds of marriages. But no matter what kind you have, MS fucks with it. And when the dust settles (I'm still waiting for that), there are all kinds of marriages.

steve said...

Oh, and I've been able to use context clues for most of your slang, but what the hell is a "Donald Duck"? A bill and a speech impediment doesn't evoke Eros, so I must be missing something.

steve said...

My friend, Mutha Chucka, performing "Making Love Alone" last month in SF.